To celebrate one of my favorite ways to be happy this year I went to Fuda Fest in Norway, Maine for a gathering of marijuana appreciators and marijuana prohibition protesters. The air was filled with good vibes. Everyone was out celebrating the same cause. The people were friendly, the band was rockin', and the energy was high. I decided to go with a past love of mine. We were together most of our high school life. We were nominated Homecoming king and queen and Prom king and queen. We were defeated by the same couple both times however. We graduated together and soon felt the need to part.

We went on very separate life paths. I found myself in Bangor and Augusta still within the borders of Maine and he found his way to California. And now two years since we graduated, we've found ourselves still very much in love. We found a more mature love. One that is accepting and nurturing. A young couple in love more often than not, becomes consumed by each other and that leads to obsession and control, like with us. When we went off to discover life and ourselves, we also discovered how to really love. And after our separation, we found ourselves ready to really love.
My new years resolution for 2012 was to stay
single all year long. After a seven month

relationship that was all about control, I broke down. I decided it was me that needed changing and that was why I couldn't keep love around. I was absolutely right. I did need changing. I needed to learn to love myself. I just couldn't believe the people I found myself with really loved me because I didn't see it for myself, that I constantly questioned them and fought their responses. So I vowed to stay single until I could love myself first. And then I could love the right way, and make a lasting relationship.

I have been single for five months. If you knew me, you would be worried. You would think something must be wrong, I have always found myself in a relationship. With only periods of a couple months in between. But no, this is a time of self-reflection. What do I need to stay happy so I can keep others happy? I realized this: to be happy with myself I have to be right with myself. I must be honest, kind, and patient. And hold true to these morals. And I must also keep myself healthy so I can keep up with these morals. Once I can practice these continuously enough that they become second nature to me, only then will I be ready for the last step.

Man was created to share their life with another human. This is both a religious and a scientific statement. There was Adam and there was Eve, and in science,
everything has a balance, an equal and opposite other half. So although I found I needed to be happy with myself, I also can't be fully happy without having someone to share that with. Trevor is his name. He was my longest relationship in the past. We have been through so much together. We were always there for each other. Sickness and health. True vows before we even thought about the altar. And somehow we found our paths connecting again. On an even deeper level.
We decided to take some magical mushrooms. For those of you who have tripped before, you know there are some people you can't trip with or it will cause a bad trip and others you can vibe well with. Then there are the rare few who you have such a deep connection with that you seem to have the same trip. Come to the same realizations with. And they are your comfort whenever you seem to wander off into the worst of vibes. And that was Trevor. We had the longest talks except most of it we didn't have to talk about at all, we could feel and understand that we had the same feelings and thoughts in that trip. We were meant to find each other again, we have a connection that is hard for some to find.
In this journey to happiness, I found my other half to share it with. And he is willing to wait for me to be fully happy with myself before we make it official again. But that night we saw and felt the connection. It is very real. And there is no reason to doubt each other ever again.
Regardless of if you believe in drugs or not, eating magic mushrooms is just one form of taking a spiritual journey. There are other forms as well: going off into nature, practicing yoga, deep breathing and meditation. A spiritual journey or even a few, is one of the many steps in finding happiness.
And this is Trevor. His heart is as beautiful as he is. I'm looking forward to experiencing this trip of life and existing in the now with him. Hopefully we will touch others with our love like he has touched me with his.